how can u be prego again
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
