with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
