Whoa Z and x make the same sound
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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