We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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