Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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