Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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