I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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