Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
