And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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