went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
