Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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