i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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