i think my tv is drunk
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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