How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
