3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
