he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
