Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
