best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
