Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
