i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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