Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
