i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
