Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
