Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
