4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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