I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
