This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
