you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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