Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
