Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
