no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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