Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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