he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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