I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
