He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
