Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They have beer where we have blood.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
