Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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