Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
