dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
