i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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