brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
