Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
should my penis look like a turkey
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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