you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
