I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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