please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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