You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
