I think scott just propositioned me for sex
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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