In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
