Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
