The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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