these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it's great music for shaving your balls
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
